Wednesday, February 13, 2008
UNSAVED BELIEVER
Bill's his name. I worked with him as my foreman for a few weeks before he moved on to greener pastures. He’s likable enough. Always a smile and a joke. However, many of his jokes were off color. He used God’s name in vain many times a day and used the f-word like water. In addition to that, he often took tools and supplies from our employer to his home, which became their new home. Then one day he invited me to a concert.
At his church.
Yep. Bill’s an Evangelical believer.
He called last week for work. He’d like to return to the tiny town where I work because the Assembly of God church he was attending there had recently doubled. Bill’s very sperchul, so he just has to be in a happening church. Bill even speaks in tongues. I wonder if he can tell some of those dirty stories in an angelic language or say the f-word in tongues. Perhaps in his angel language it’s the q-word or the k-word. Of course, I’ve no clue what “word” is in angelese. Perhaps it’s “dlospeq”, in which case the f-word would be the f-dlospeq or the q-dlospeq or the k-dlospeq or…
His call reminded me of several arguments we had while he was still my foreman. I had told him that stealing from his employer, cussing, and cursing God’s name regularly without so much as a twinge of conscience was a sign of an unsaved soul. So I told him as gently as I could once again.
Here’s where it gets good: When I told him one must repent of one's sins to be saved, he said that was not true. In Bill-land you just have to sepGeezus. As long as you sepGeezus yur SAVED, SAVED, SAVED! Remain in your sins if you want. Just sepGeezus and your ticket's punched to go to the Six flags Over Heaven, cotton candy and all.
I don’t know who Bill’s pastor is, but I’m sure his (or her)spot in hell will be very hot. And close to Joel Osteen.
In Christ,
Phil Perkins.
At his church.
Yep. Bill’s an Evangelical believer.
He called last week for work. He’d like to return to the tiny town where I work because the Assembly of God church he was attending there had recently doubled. Bill’s very sperchul, so he just has to be in a happening church. Bill even speaks in tongues. I wonder if he can tell some of those dirty stories in an angelic language or say the f-word in tongues. Perhaps in his angel language it’s the q-word or the k-word. Of course, I’ve no clue what “word” is in angelese. Perhaps it’s “dlospeq”, in which case the f-word would be the f-dlospeq or the q-dlospeq or the k-dlospeq or…
His call reminded me of several arguments we had while he was still my foreman. I had told him that stealing from his employer, cussing, and cursing God’s name regularly without so much as a twinge of conscience was a sign of an unsaved soul. So I told him as gently as I could once again.
Here’s where it gets good: When I told him one must repent of one's sins to be saved, he said that was not true. In Bill-land you just have to sepGeezus. As long as you sepGeezus yur SAVED, SAVED, SAVED! Remain in your sins if you want. Just sepGeezus and your ticket's punched to go to the Six flags Over Heaven, cotton candy and all.
I don’t know who Bill’s pastor is, but I’m sure his (or her)spot in hell will be very hot. And close to Joel Osteen.
In Christ,
Phil Perkins.
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4 comments:
Excellent post Phil!
I know people like the "Bill" you just described......
Thanks for posting this!
Phil
Thanks for your faithfulness, too,
Phil. Your fruit is good.
Phil Perkins.
Technically, Pentecostals aren't really evangelicals. Hard pressed to tell the difference, but its historical. But that depends on how you define 'evangelical' as well as 'pentecostal'. Pentecostal is pretty set, but evangelical has been used in a variety of ways through out history. It used to mean you just liked to share the gospel, but now it is a movement...
Echindod,
Today they are. Current usage.
Most say "Evangelical" began with Luther's time. Luther didn't babble, slobber, and faint or have women pastors.
Bill (and everyone else these days) calls himself an Evangelical. I'll give you his number and you can get Bob Newhart to call him and say "STOP IT!"
Phil.
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